Should all parents be required to attend a parenting course before they can claim child benefit?

We’ve all heard the expression, “You need a licence to have a dog but any fool can have a baby.”

Now, admittedly I am one of those fools and I have had 4 babies so I’m glad they haven’t brought in that law because if they did my kids would be off to the pound probably with half the kids in the country. 

The funny thing is, no one really knows how good or bad a parent is going to be until they experience the unconditional love and sense of duty to nurture, protect and provide for their helpless innocent miracle. With one fleeting glance, of bewilderment, confusion and fear, which accompanies their first breath as they arrive in this crazy world, our babies place all their trust in Mum and Dad. If they could speak they would probably say I’m scared, I chose you to me my mum and Dad so will you mind me? So deciding who should be awarded a licence to raise a child is of course a ridiculous notion and I have seen some of the most unlikely people become some of the most amazing parents in every way.

But the problem is that when an infant looks at you for the first time with those trusting eyes, the fear hits you like a bad dose of the flu. You feel sick, nauseous and scared as you realise you now have a huge responsibility towards this new precious gift and it occurs to you that you know absolutely nothing about being a parent. Many of us spend our lives doing training courses or go to college so we can become better equipped to get a job and make our mark on the world but as I reflect on my preparations and training to make it in the big bad world it strikes me that I never once attend a single training course to prepare me for the most important job I would ever have, the job of being a good parent.

Is this not totally irresponsible on my part to not get some professional advice from an experienced parent to remind me and advice me on my duties towards my children. How am I supposed to know what to do in the infinite number of instances where I have to act in a logical, calm and considered manor to ensure not only the safety but also the emotional development,  confidence and happiness of mf my child.  How do I influence them to have good character a strong moral compass and develop and build on their natural talents and not push them down a life path they are not genetically, physically and mentally wired to cope with. On my part I am lucky that my kids have an extraordinary mum who happens to be very in tune with their development needs and has an extraordinary intuition in understanding what the need and how to communicate with them. Luckily for me this leaves me in a position to be a fun dad while she keeps me and the kids in check. But of course no one is perfect and still, as parents doing our best, get it wrong lots of the time.

But what about the mums and dads who have the ability and desire to be the best parents in the world but simply have not acquired the skills or training to be a confident parent? What about the Mum’s and Dad’s who establish their parenting approach based on their own experience as a kid when it was common for kids to be seen and not heard, given a good hiding for being bold, never listened to and to be put in a corner for being lazy and stupid when in fact they had a learning difficulty.

So why am I writing about all this? Well as you know I want the world to be a better place and want every child to have a wonderful loving childhood that nurtures confidence and filled with adventure and happiness and laughter. With this in mind I am going to suggest something and would like your opinion on it. In Ireland we have a government payment to parents called children’s allowance. It is available to every child under the age of 18 and works out at about €120 per month. My idea is that before you can avail of this payment every parent must attend a mandatory recognised parenting course when their child is born again at age 5, 8 and 13 years of age. The cost of funding such a course would come out of the first month’s children’s allowance payment so parents will never notice it gone as the payment starts one month later. The benefits are of course huge and God knows I could do with a few parenting courses myself. Jobs would be created as the courses would have to be delivered. All very simple and everyone is a winner especially the kids. So before I go off writing to the minister for children hopefully you can leave some comments on Facebook and this blog that will give me a bit of confidence and encouragement to try and make it happen.  

I’ll keep you posted of any developments.

Hugs to everyone!

Benji

They can do it....So Let them!

Look at the mess you made

“Quick Quick!" "Hurry Hurry!" "Come on we're late!" Give it to me I’ll do it. No! you'll hurt yourself. Be careful I’ve just cleaned up. I’ll do it you will only spill it. No! you’ll make a mess.  Don’t do that. Stop shouting. Stop running around you’ll break something. Be quiet your making too much noise. Look at the mess you’ve made. Now look what you made me do!   

Be Careful

 Sounds Familiar? Of course it does, we are parents, it’s what we do best and god knows I’m probably world champion at barking at the kids.

Don't Fall

Looking at these sentences written down on a page I'm shocked to realize that they are not the words of a loving parent but rather like the negative ranting of a controlling, bossy school yard bully who blames everyone else for what is going wrong. And the scary thing is this is what the kids hear which is not good for their confidence of self-esteem or my relationship with them.

Who is going to clean your Clothes

The problem is, that as parents we are so busy buzzing round trying to keep the cosmos in its fragile state of equilibrium while doing our best to raise a bunch of nutty kids. So in a futile effort to make time to visit the loo it is often easier and quicker for us to do “EVERYTHING” for our kids to try and keep one step ahead. As quick as we can we set the table, make their breakfast, make their lunch, get their clothes, probably help them dress, tidy their room, pick up their clothes, clean up after them, put away their toys, wash the dishes, sweep the floor the list goes on and on. God knows I do my fair share and while we are all doing this the kids are probably sitting  on their cute little bottoms scrapping over who’s go it is on the Wii or what TV show they want to watch.

This Dinner is going to be yum

Great Work Robbie that's very good

So here are my thoughts on the subject. Firstly kids are kids and need to do what kids do. They need to play, explore, get excited, shout and scream and run around, climb things fall off them, bang their knee and climb back up again, they need to bake things, make things and break things. All these activities and behaviors gel together into what we all like to call “Learning”. So as parents we need to nurture and embrace this behavior but also channel all this energy into constructive learning. I don’t think we give kids enough credit for their intelligence, ability and desire to do things for themselves so from a very early age it is important to encourage kids to have lots of fun and play but also to do thing for themselves.

Nice Work Guys

Great job Setting the Table Molly

So as well as doing all the fun stuff there is no reason why the kids can’t do the boring stuff as well. So next time when your slaving away in the house encourage the kids to come and help. Have a chat with them while they are helping, tell them how great they are, make some chores their entire responsibility each day and most of all make it fun. For Example we encourage Molly to set the table and when she really gets into it she sets a place for Adam and places a picture of Adam, a candle and a little angel on the table which is really lovely and we all have a lovely dinner time. This fun way of delegating  household chores not only enhances your own relationship with your kids as you both communicate while working but it also helps build independence confidence and self esteem a strong work ethic and ability to figure things out for themselves and after all it is better than leaving them in another room watching TV.

The garden will look great when the grass grows

Of course it’s not always plain sailing all the time, there will always be resistance, crankiness and tiredness so there are no hard and fast rules. So don’t end up having a row just try and encourage them to help so they do it willingly and pick your moments and your battles and don’t try this technique when you’re rushing out the door already 10 minutes late for school.

Good luck, be brave and have a great week.

I would love to hear your comments or suggestions so if you have any please add them by clicking the comments button.

To get signed dedicated copies of Adam's Adventure book visit www.adamscloud.com

Every Child Deserves To...

Before I start my blog I just want to say sorry it has been a while since my last blog as over the past 2 weeks I was away in London promoting and at present Jackie is away leaving me home alone with 3 nutty kids and no instructions, but at least were having fun. So on to this week’s Blog with a nice video below.  

 

On my recent travel to London a bone of contention has raised its head that I feel the need to address. When I'm promoting at big events lots of different people of all walks of life pass me by and over the years have come to realise that everyone has their story, their pain and their worries. I often engage in wonderful conversations with so many of them that always have such a lasting impact on me long after they are gone and that keep me grateful for the things I have. 

During these events lots of young mums and dads, with their babies, pass by and I invite them to have a look at the books and as I dote on their very cute babies they thankfully complement my books with many of them buying and others politely moving on. Of course there are some parents who don’t come over as they are rushing to change a nappy or get the next feed in. I've been in that situation enough times with my own kids so know when not, to go waving books in their face.

So what's the problem? Well, so far there is no problem, but then comes the parents that quite simple make my blood boil make, me bite my lip until it is practically bleedingand make me want to shake some sense into them. My problem is with the parents I invite to have a look at the books who then tell me that their kids are either too young, can’t read or practically take a trip around the moon avoid coming near my stand in case they might have to buy a book that doesn’t read itself, paint their nails and babysit their kids. This video is proof that they are never too young for a book.

Now, I know I am overly passionate and emotional about my books and the message they contain as they are so deeply inspired by Adam, but being honest, it kills me to think that some parents have no idea of the importance, on so many different levels, of reading to their children. Is it fair to assume that, if they can’t be bothered to read them a bedtime story, they also couldn’t be bothered to bring them for a walk in a park, play with them, colour with them, talk to them, guide and encourage them, instil confidence in them, just do their best for them or just tell them they love them?

So, No Matter What…

Every child deserves to be hugged and cuddled. Every child deserves to have their imagination ignited with words and adventures. Every child deserves to have 10 minutes dedicated to them by their parents at the end of the day. Every child deserves to have confidence instilled in them through reading, conversation and praise. Every child deserves not be shoved in front of the television all day long. Every child deserves to have fun, play and make noise without fear. Every child deserves to be allowed to be a child. Every child deserves to learn. Every child deserves to be loved. Every child deserves to be happy and every child deserves to have parents that care and do their best for them.

 

This is the essence of Adam’s Message and this is what I am trying to promote

Thank for your visit this week and helping me spread Adam’s Message.

Lots of love hugs and kisses

Benji

The Power of Love:Creates a Magical Moment for Noah and his Mum

After a massive and amazing response last week to Geraldine's message about her little boy Noah who was left deaf after an infant illness, this new message from baby Noah's mum has again left me speechless. I wonder did Adam have anything to do with the latest developments of the date change of his operation. I suppose at this stage I should not be surprised with some of the strange and wonderful things that happen as a result of Adam, his books and his amazing friends on his Facebook page. I hope all goes well for Noah on the 20th of March

Dear Benji,
I have been amazed at the response our story has received and completely overwhelmed by the messages of love & support. Yesterday I really felt on such a high reading through these messages and then I received a very important & unexpected phonecall. Beaumont hospital rang to tell me Noah's implant operation date has been brought forward by 8 weeks to March 20th. That really is what an amazing day feels like. Thank you so much to everyone for your support & again to a fantastic author for giving us all these brilliant books to share with our children.

  Here is the original message from Noah's Mum

Last week I received this extraordinary message from a very special mum that not only touched me deeply but also demonstrates the power of love and the importance of expressing your love for your children every day as we never know what challenges lie in wait to test us. 

 

Hi Benji,

I just thought it would be nice for me to share this with you. In July 2012 I gave birth to identical twin boys but while we were still in hospital one of my boys became critically unwell. He had necrotising entrocolitis which resulted in his bowel rupturing when he was 6 days old. He had sepsis & septic shock and was well & truly fighting for his life. He suffered problems with his heart which made his heart beat extremely fast at times so his heart rate was always a huge concern. When he was in intensive care I wanted him to hear my voice as much as possible and so I brought in your wonderful books which belonged to my older children. I loved reading the I love you book, "Before you Sleep," to him, I'd read it over & over and one evening the intensive care nurse said to me that it was amazing, his heart rate had come right down as I read to him. Because of this I know he was hearing me. As a result of his illness he lost his hearing and is now awaiting cochlear implant. What I really wanted you to know is that those stories are amongst the last words Noah heard & I can't imagine any nicer story so full of love to have told him, so thank you so much for writing it. We are all looking forward to the next book :-)

Happiness! It's right in front of us

The Power Of Love

Last week I received this extraordinary message from a very special mum that not only touched me deeply but also demonstrates the power of love and the importance of expressing your love for your children every day as we never know what challenges lie in wait to test us.

 

 

 

Hi Benji,

I just thought it would be nice for me to share this with you. In July 2012 I gave birth to identical twin boys but while we were still in hospital one of my boys became critically unwell. He had necrotising entrocolitis which resulted in his bowel rupturing when he was 6 days old. He had sepsis & septic shock and was well & truly fighting for his life. He suffered problems with his heart which made his heart beat extremely fast at times so his heart rate was always a huge concern. When he was in intensive care I wanted him to hear my voice as much as possible and so I brought in your wonderful books which belonged to my older children. I loved reading the I love you book, "Before you Sleep," to him, I'd read it over & over and one evening the intensive care nurse said to me that it was amazing, his heart rate had come right down as I read to him. Because of this I know he was hearing me. As a result of his illness he lost his hearing and is now awaiting cochlear implant. What I really wanted you to know is that those stories are amongst the last words Noah heard & I can't imagine any nicer story so full of love to have told him, so thank you so much for writing it. We are all looking forward to the next book :-)

A Poem for Valentine's Day

 

 

 

Valentines, that special day, can cause a lot of stress

Will she like my present and will he like my dress?

How does someone show their love for the person they adore

Is it gifts and dinners and perfume by Dior?
 

 Well that’s all fine and easily done and most of the time is lots of fun

But head my warning everyone this romantic gesture is easily undone.

It's a poem to read with brekkie in bed, a gentle heart to rest your head

Coming home early to give your love an hour alone to rest in bed
 

 

To play with the kids like never before giving your love a break to adore

Not playing with your phone checking the score or complaining that your finger is sore

It’s making your valentine feel noticed each day and not for one night when you’re out on display

So dinner a perfume alone won't work to show your love on Valentine's Day

No one is perfect so when the effort is made weather you like it or not don't be dismayed
 

Just enjoy the moment for what it is and relish in the attention that you are being paid.

Happy Valentines day

lots of Love hugs and kisses to all my wonderful friends on Facebook

Benji

Benji's Interview After Winning Book of the Year 2013

I hope you enjoy this interview that was conducted straight after I won the Board Gais Energy Irish Book Awards for the second time last November 2013. It took a little while to get my hands on it so only getting it up online now. No rest for the wicked I have to start writing another book and go for number 3 in 2014. Enjoy!

Lots of Love Benji.

Whoa! We Won Another Book of the Year Award.

Holy Zingbats. We won another Book of the Year Award for "When You Were Born". That makes it 5 nominations and 2 Wins so far, I still cant really believe it.

A very special night indeed and a big pat on the back for keeping my dinner where it was supposed to be as the nerves were so bad I felt sick and really was an emotional wreck 

Don't let the smiles fool you, we were as nervous as hell. With loads of celebs and photographers flashing electric atmosphere into the room or some reason they took one us Jackie and I

Just love the award. I had my eye on it for some time and still can't get used to having one of my very own

With 5 nominations and 3 wins plus winner of  book of the decade I think I can consider the awesome Derek Landy of Skullduggery fame  my Buddy...

 RTE Jr. TV Presenter Emma O'Driscoll Presented the award on the night 

WOW! Thanks for all the great suggestions for Adam's next Adventure. There were so many. A lot involving time travel back in time, an African safari adventure, an under the sea Adventure, the land of fairytales adventure, spooky adventures, How Adam got his cloud, adventures in the attic, Easter egg hunt adventure, a trip to the Olympics, down under in Oz, and loads more.... There is so much to do but don't worry I think I have something planned you are all going to love. Ill keep you posted.....  Benji www.adamscloud.com

Answering the "Big Question" at Bed Time

 

Here's the answer to a question you might want to share with someone you know...      
Last night while lying in his bed, Robbie, who usually goes asleep no bother after reading his books, gets thinking about the future and about Mum and dad getting older. He then reaches the worrying conclusion that when he grows older mum and dad won’t be around forever. With a little whimper he calls out from his room, “DaaaAAaad”, and up I go to see what is bothering him. Quietly and sadly he says that he can’t sleep as he is worried that when he grows up I might die and he is sad and worried. “Robbie,” I said, “you don’t have to be sad or worried because the way the world works is that when you are small I need to be with you all the time so we can have loads of fun and for me to teach you things, help you learn to play football, bring you to school, take you on holidays and give you lots of hugs and kisses. But when boys and girls grow up their Mum’s and Dad’s work is done on earth so we have to go to heaven to mind you when you are older and make sure you are always happy when you have your own children. So the reason people die and go to heaven is to make sure everyone still here can be minded and are always happy.” “Oh!” says Robbie, “I didn’t know that. So when you die I just can’t see you but you will still be there to make sure I’m happy”? “Yes Robbie, that’s it, now you go asleep and I’ll take you to school in the morning.” “Thanks Dad.” Night Night!” Just as Robbie was about reach out for a good night kiss and hug one last thought popped into his head. “Dad, do you know what else happens when you die.” “What’s that Robbie?” I replied, “When you die you will be happy as well because you will see Adam and Adam will be happy because he will see you, so everyone will be happy not just me.” “Robbie, you’re such a good boy, yes when people go to heaven everyone is happy”….. Phew! I think I handled that one OK. Benji www.adamscloud.com

A Thought on New Year's Eve

A Thought on New Year’s Eve!

 

As we look back at the year that has gone we remember the hard times, the things we did not get done, the things we worried about, the things we wanted but did not get. So my thought for the New Year is to close your eyes draw a smile on your face and Remember...se your eyes draw a smile on your face and remember…
the chats, the smiles, the laughter, the tears of joy, the fun, the emotions, the little looks you received from innocent eyes, the magical sounds, the walks, the smells, the sights, the tastes, the music, the hugs, the cuddles, the giggles, the thrills, the little things that make a big difference, the loving touch of a hand, the softness of a kiss, the lazy day’s of sweet nothings, the warmth of an embrace, The smiles, the gift of giving, those random acts of kindness you gave and received, the jokes, the silly times, the acting the fool times and most of all, every moment we did something… that made us feel good.
These are just some of the wonders that life has to offer, require no money, are worry free and make our hearts dance. So as you plan your new year’s resolutions, keep it simple and just keep doing more of what MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD about yourself and your family and don’t worry about the other stuff it is nothing more than a distraction.
With “Benji’s Bucket List” for fun and happiness in 2014 coming soon, I wish you all a year filled with positivity and magical moments with your family to remember forever.
Till next year, all my love to the best Facebook fans on the planet.

The chats, the smiles, the laughter, the tears of joy, the fun, the emotions, the little looks you received from innocent eyes, the magical sounds, the walks, the smells, the sights, the tastes, the music, the hugs, the cuddles, the giggles, the thrills, the little things that make a big difference, the loving touch of a hand, the softness of a kiss, the lazy day’s of sweet nothings, the warmth of an embrace, The smiles, the gift of giving, those random acts of kindness you gave and received, the jokes, the silly times, the acting the fool times and most of all, every moment we did something… that made us feel good.
These are just some of the wonders that life has to offer, require no money, are worry free and make our hearts dance. So as you plan your new year’s resolutions, keep it simple and just keep doing more of what MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD about yourself and your family and don’t worry about the other stuff it is nothing more than a distraction.

 With “Benji’s Bucket List” for fun and happiness in 2014 coming soon, I wish you all a year filled with positivity and magical moments with your family to remember forever.

Happy New Year
 Benji

Have A Howl On Halloween!

Before I fill you in on the launch of the Irish Book Awards this week there is much more important business to attend to first, Fun Ideas for Halloween!!!

I have always loved Halloween and have such fond memories of those simple games I played as a kid. So create a magical moment with the kids this week with these 5 spooktacularly fun Halloween party games.

Marshan Mountain

This requires a steady hand but be warned you could end up with flour on your face. Make a small mountain of plain baking flower on a big piece of newspaper. On the tippy top carefully place a marshmallow. With an ice-lolly stick or small blunt knife slice off a piece of the flour and keep slicing until the marshmallow mountain collapses and the marshmallow falls down. Whoever makes the marshmallow fall has to go fetch it with their mouth without using their hands. Be ready with the cameras as the kids retrieve the marshmallow with a generous helping of flour on their face.

Spooky Tag Tale

I play this with the kids all the time in the car and they love it. Get all the kids to sit in a circle with a pumpkin in the middle and the lights down low to set the atmosphere. Stick a torch under your chin and start off with a story. “Once upon a time there was a big smelly, stinkey, spookey….”hand the torch to one of the kids in the circle then continue on with the story from where you left off. “….horrible witch who had a bushy broom and a wart on her...” before finishing the sentence the child passes the torch on to the next child to carry on with the story, and so on. You will be amazed at what wacky stories come out and the kids will have great fun.

Apple Nibble

I always remember this as it was the hardest one and you really have to end up finding a clever way to win. Hang an apple from the door frame with a piece of string. Whoever can manage to take a bite of the apple without using their hands is the winner. Easy peasy, (not really but great fun!).

Stick it to the Witch

Based on 'pin the tail to the donkey' this is 'stick the wart on the witch's nose'. It's really easy, get or draw a picture of a witch and put it on the wall. The kids are blindfolded and spin around 3 times and then have to stick a piece of blu-tac on the witch's nose. Whoever gets it closest wins a prize.

Ear Nuts

I learned this little trick from my gorgeous god daughter. Get a regular Halloween monkey nut. Take one end and squeeze so the end of the shell splits a little bit. Then push the split end of the nut onto the bottom of your earlobe on your ear and let go. The small split catches the end of your ear to make a beautiful ear-ring!

Well I hope you all have lots of fun and stay safe this Halloween and have a magical night to remember. Of course if you have any games that you love in your house please let me know so I can share them.

Till next time, lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Benji. 

When you Were Born Competition

When you Were Born Competition

Imagine if you owned one of the first ever copies to be printed of your favourite book? Be it Harry Potter, the first ever Mr Tickle book, how much would it mean to you? How much would it be worth? 

 Well! here is you chance to win 1 of the first ever copies to be printed of my new book "When you Were Born". To enter this Amazing competition all you have to do is like Adams Cloud on Facebook and enter the competition. Easy Peasy! I hope the kids enjoy finding out how we put the hugs into the books. Lots of love Benji

It's 4-in-a-row for Adam!

Me, RTE's John Murray & my good friend Sinead Moriarty

Sorry I missed my blog post last week, I was away in London at the Spirit of Christmas Fair in the Olympia for 6 long days.

A week away from Jackie and the kids, especially over Halloween, left me feeling a little gutted & home sick but there was also an overpowering sense of being on a relaxing holiday away from the hyper kids, so overall it wasn't that bad.

In case you have been off-line and missed all the posts on Facebook and Twitter, I thought I'd let you know that Adam’s Greatest Inventions is up for this year’s Book of the Year Award which is great as it is the 4^th year in a row! 

No really, it's just a furry microphone!

I felt like Jedward on the day of the launch with all the cameras and journalists around. I managed to get talking to my very good friend Sinead Moriarty as well as Robbie’s 'girlfriend', Celia Ahern, Paul Howard, (AKA Ross O’Carroll Kelly), Derek Lady of Skulduggery fame, and the 'love him or hate him' Senator David Norris. 

We’re up against some stiff competition with some lovely books so we don’t expect to win but always hopeful. I am however ecstatic at the prospect of bumping into Katie Taylor on the night of the awards, she is amazing. 

If you would like to vote for Adam's Greatest Inventions, then you can do so at this link, http://www.irishbookawards.ie/vote-here-for-your-favourite-titles/

I was lucky enough to have been asked to do an interview on the day which was great, you can see the results on the right.

I'm off on my travels to London next to a show in Earls Court, so hopefully there'll be lots of books, (as well as hugs and kisses), on their way to homes in London.

Till next week,  

Benji.

Say Hello to Molly Dolly!

Little Molly in my latest book!

Today marks a magical moment for Adams Cloud as today we're launching a brand new product, it's called the 'Molly Dolly'. So this week I thought I would tell you all about how the Molly Dolly came about.

Molly & Dolly in their pyjamas

As you may know we have a little Molly in our house. She is great fun and goes on all Adam’s Adventures with Robbie and Harry. You may notice in each of the books that Molly has a dolly with her and every time I read the stories to the kids at bed time we play a game to spot Molly’s dolly.

Molly wearing the 'Play' dress

I often thought the idea of a doll would be great and one day, as fate would have it, I was at a show in Donegal and met a woman who designed a beautiful Rag Doll with matching clothes for the doll & the little girls. I was immediately drawn to them and I bought my daughter, Molly, the full set of clothes & the doll. When I gave Molly the doll & clothes her reaction was amazing. That was the day we christened the doll Molly’s Dolly and now Molly and her dolly go everywhere together dressed in matching outfits, including at bedtime.

'Sporty' Molly

Excited by Molly’s reaction to her new doll I simply had to get in touch with the woman who designed them to see if there was something we could do together. It must be something Adam had planned as the reception to my suggestion was very positive. We shook hands and, well the rest is history.

Molly Dolly is here at last and is also illustrated into my new book Adam's Greatest inventions. I most definitely plan to set Molly and her dolly off on their own bedtime adventures in the very near future so watch this space for a new book on this very soon.

'Trendy' Molly & Dolly

I hope you like Molly Dolly and it's a hit with all Adam's little friends, and look forward to more new things next year.

So I guess the moral of this week blog is to always make that phone call if you think you have an idea or can work together with someone. There is nothing to lose in making that first phone call. It worked for me and has given me this week’s Magical Moment.

PS: we only have limited stock so if you think you would like them you can order them on www.adamscloud.com/mollydollies.html

That’s it for this week.

Hugs and Kisses

Benji