Welcome to our blog! This is where we like to keep everyone up to date with the latest news, tips on how to have lots of fun with the kids, and share little tricks for creating more time to spend together. Come in and enjoy, we'd love to hear any of your comments as well so don't be shy!!
We’ve all heard the expression, “You need a licence to have
a dog but any fool can have a baby.”
Now, admittedly I am one of those fools
and I have had 4 babies so I’m glad they haven’t brought in that law because if
they did my kids would be off to the pound probably with half the kids in the
country.
The funny thing is, no one really
knows how good or bad a parent is going to be until they experience the
unconditional love and sense of duty to nurture, protect and provide for their
helpless innocent miracle. With one fleeting glance, of bewilderment, confusion
and fear, which accompanies their first breath as they arrive in this crazy
world, our babies place all their trust in Mum and Dad. If they could speak
they would probably say I’m scared, I chose you to me my mum and Dad so will
you mind me? So deciding who should be awarded a licence to raise a child is of
course a ridiculous notion and I have seen some of the most unlikely people
become some of the most amazing parents in every way.
But the problem is that when an infant looks at you for the
first time with those trusting eyes, the fear hits you like a bad dose of the
flu. You feel sick, nauseous and scared as you realise you now have a huge
responsibility towards this new precious gift and it occurs to you that you
know absolutely nothing about being a parent. Many of us spend our lives doing training
courses or go to college so we can become better equipped to get a job and make
our mark on the world but as I reflect on my preparations and training to make
it in the big bad world it strikes me that I never once attend a single training
course to prepare me for the most important job I would ever have, the job of
being a good parent.
Is this not totally irresponsible on my part to not get some
professional advice from an experienced parent to remind me and advice me on my
duties towards my children. How am I supposed to know what to do in the
infinite number of instances where I have to act in a logical, calm and
considered manor to ensure not only the safety but also the emotional development,
confidence and happiness of mf my
child.How do I influence them to have
good character a strong moral compass and develop and build on their natural
talents and not push them down a life path they are not genetically, physically
and mentally wired to cope with. On my part I am lucky that my kids have an extraordinary
mum who happens to be very in tune with their development needs and has an extraordinary
intuition in understanding what the need and how to communicate with them. Luckily
for me this leaves me in a position to be a fun dad while she keeps me and the
kids in check. But of course no one is perfect and still, as parents doing our
best, get it wrong lots of the time.
But what about the mums and dads who have the ability and
desire to be the best parents in the world but simply have not acquired the
skills or training to be a confident parent? What about the Mum’s and Dad’s who
establish their parenting approach based on their own experience as a kid when
it was common for kids to be seen and not heard, given a good hiding for being
bold, never listened to and to be put in a corner for being lazy and stupid when
in fact they had a learning difficulty.
So why am I writing about all this? Well as you know I want
the world to be a better place and want every child to have a wonderful loving
childhood that nurtures confidence and filled with adventure and happiness and
laughter. With this in mind I am going to suggest something and would like your
opinion on it. In Ireland we have a government payment to parents called children’s
allowance. It is available to every child under the age of 18 and works out at
about €120 per month. My idea is that before you can avail of this payment
every parent must attend a mandatory recognised parenting course when their
child is born again at age 5, 8 and 13 years of age. The cost of funding such a
course would come out of the first month’s children’s allowance payment so parents
will never notice it gone as the payment starts one month later. The benefits
are of course huge and God knows I could do with a few parenting courses myself.
Jobs would be created as the courses would have to be delivered. All very
simple and everyone is a winner especially the kids. So before I go off writing
to the minister for children hopefully you can leave some comments on Facebook
and this blog that will give me a bit of confidence and encouragement to try
and make it happen.
“Quick Quick!"
"Hurry Hurry!" "Come on we're late!" Give it to me I’ll do it. No! you'll hurt yourself. Be careful I’ve just
cleaned up. I’ll do it you will only spill it. No! you’ll make a mess. Don’t do
that. Stop shouting. Stop running around you’ll break something. Be quiet your
making too much noise. Look at the mess you’ve made. Now look what you made me
do!
Be Careful
Sounds Familiar? Of course it does, we are parents,
it’s what we do best and god knows I’m probably world champion at barking at
the kids.
Don't Fall
Looking at these
sentences written down on a page I'm shocked to realize that they are not the words of a loving parent but rather like the negative ranting
of a controlling, bossy school yard bully who blames everyone else for what is
going wrong. And the scary thing is this is what the kids hear which is not good
for their confidence of self-esteem or my relationship with them.
Who is going to clean your Clothes
The problem is, that as parents we are so busy buzzing
round trying to keep the cosmos in its fragile state of equilibrium while doing
our best to raise a bunch of nutty kids. So in a futile effort to make time to
visit the loo it is often easier and quicker for us to do “EVERYTHING” for our
kids to try and keep one step ahead. As quick as we can we set the table, make their
breakfast, make their lunch, get their clothes, probably help them dress, tidy
their room, pick up their clothes, clean up after them, put away their toys,
wash the dishes, sweep the floor the list goes on and on. God knows I do my
fair share and while we are all doing this the kids are probably sitting on their cute little bottoms scrapping over
who’s go it is on the Wii or what TV show they want to watch.
This Dinner is going to be yum
Great Work Robbie that's very good
So here are my thoughts on the subject. Firstly kids
are kids and need to do what kids do. They need to play, explore, get excited,
shout and scream and run around, climb things fall off them, bang their knee
and climb back up again, they need to bake things, make things and break
things. All these activities and behaviors gel together into what we all like
to call “Learning”. So as parents we need to nurture and embrace this behavior
but also channel all this energy into constructive learning. I don’t think we
give kids enough credit for their intelligence, ability and desire to do things
for themselves so from a very early age it is important to encourage kids to
have lots of fun and play but also to do thing for themselves.
Nice Work Guys
Great job Setting the Table Molly
So as well as doing all the fun stuff there is no
reason why the kids can’t do the boring stuff as well. So next time when your
slaving away in the house encourage the kids to come and help. Have a chat with
them while they are helping, tell them how great they are, make some chores
their entire responsibility each day and most of all make it fun. For Example
we encourage Molly to set the table and when she really gets into it she sets a
place for Adam and places a picture of Adam, a candle and a little angel on the
table which is really lovely and we all have a lovely dinner time. This fun way
of delegating household chores not only
enhances your own relationship with your kids as you both communicate while
working but it also helps build independence confidence and self esteem a
strong work ethic and ability to figure things out for themselves and after all
it is better than leaving them in another room watching TV.
The garden will look great when the grass grows
Of course it’s not always plain sailing all the time,
there will always be resistance, crankiness and tiredness so there are no hard
and fast rules. So don’t end up having a row just try and encourage them to
help so they do it willingly and pick your moments and your battles and don’t
try this technique when you’re rushing out the door already 10 minutes late for
school.
Good luck, be brave and have a great week.
I would love to hear your comments or suggestions so if you have any
please add them by clicking the comments button.
To get signed dedicated copies of Adam's Adventure book visit www.adamscloud.com
Before I start my
blog I just want to say sorry it has been a while since my last blog as over
the past 2 weeks I was away in London promoting and at present Jackie is away
leaving me home alone with 3 nutty kids and no instructions, but at least were
having fun. So on to this week’s Blog with a nice video below.
On my
recent travel to London a bone of contention has raised its head that I
feel the need to address. When I'm promoting at big events lots of
different people of all walks of life pass me by and over the years have come
to realise that everyone has their story, their pain and their worries. I often
engage in wonderful conversations with so many of them that always have such a
lasting impact on me long after they are gone and that keep me grateful for the
things I have.
During these events
lots of young mums and dads, with their babies, pass by and I invite them to
have a look at the books and as I dote on their very cute babies they thankfully
complement my books with many of them buying and others politely moving
on. Of course there are some parents who don’t come over as they are
rushing to change a nappy or get the next feed in. I've been in that situation
enough times with my own kids so know when not, to go waving books in their
face.
So what's the
problem? Well, so far there is no problem, but then comes the parents that
quite simple make my blood boil make, me bite my lip until it is practically bleedingand
make me want to shake some sense into them. My problem is with the parents I
invite to have a look at the books who then tell me that their kids are either
too young, can’t read or practically take a trip around the moon avoid coming
near my stand in case they might have to buy a book that doesn’t read itself,
paint their nails and babysit their kids. This video is proof that they are never too young for a book.
Now, I know I am
overly passionate and emotional about my books and the message they contain as
they are so deeply inspired by Adam, but being honest, it kills me to think
that some parents have no idea of the importance, on so many different levels,
of reading to their children. Is it fair to assume that, if they can’t be
bothered to read them a bedtime story, they also couldn’t be bothered to bring
them for a walk in a park, play with them, colour with them, talk to them,
guide and encourage them, instil confidence in them, just do their best for
them or just tell them they love them?
So, No Matter What…
Every child deserves
to be hugged and cuddled. Every child deserves to have their imagination ignited
with words and adventures. Every child deserves to have 10 minutes dedicated to
them by their parents at the end of the day. Every child deserves to have
confidence instilled in them through reading, conversation and praise. Every
child deserves not be shoved in front of the television all day long. Every
child deserves to have fun, play and make noise without fear. Every child deserves
to be allowed to be a child. Every child deserves to learn. Every child deserves
to be loved. Every child deserves to be happy and every child deserves to have
parents that care and do their best for them.
This is the essence
of Adam’s Message and this is what I am trying to promote
Thank for your visit
this week and helping me spread Adam’s Message.
After a massive and amazing response last week to Geraldine's message about her little boy Noah who was left deaf after an infant illness, this new message from baby Noah's mum has again left me speechless. I wonder did Adam have anything to do with the latest developments of the date change of his operation. I suppose at this stage I should not be surprised with some of the strange and wonderful things that happen as a result of Adam, his books and his amazing friends on his Facebook page. I hope all goes well for Noah on the 20th of March
Dear Benji, I have been amazed at the response our story has received and completely overwhelmed by the messages of love & support. Yesterday I really felt on such a high reading through these messages and then I received a very important & unexpected phonecall. Beaumont hospital rang to tell me Noah's implant operation date has been brought forward by 8 weeks to March 20th. That really is what an amazing day feels like. Thank you so much to everyone for your support & again to a fantastic author for giving us all these brilliant books to share with our children.
Here is the original message from Noah's Mum
Last week I received this extraordinary message from a very special mum that not only touched me deeply but also demonstrates the power of love and the importance of expressing your love for your children every day as we never know what challenges lie in wait to test us.
Hi Benji,
I just thought it would be nice for me to share this with you. In July 2012 I gave birth to identical twin boys but while we were still in hospital one of my boys became critically unwell. He had necrotising entrocolitis which resulted in his bowel rupturing when he was 6 days old. He had sepsis & septic shock and was well & truly fighting for his life. He suffered problems with his heart which made his heart beat extremely fast at times so his heart rate was always a huge concern. When he was in intensive care I wanted him to hear my voice as much as possible and so I brought in your wonderful books which belonged to my older children. I loved reading the I love you book, "Before you Sleep," to him, I'd read it over & over and one evening the intensive care nurse said to me that it was amazing, his heart rate had come right down as I read to him. Because of this I know he was hearing me. As a result of his illness he lost his hearing and is now awaiting cochlear implant. What I really wanted you to know is that those stories are amongst the last words Noah heard & I can't imagine any nicer story so full of love to have told him, so thank you so much for writing it. We are all looking forward to the next book :-)
Last week I received this extraordinary message from a very special mum that not only touched me deeply but also demonstrates the power of love and the importance of expressing your love for your children every day as we never know what challenges lie in wait to test us.
Hi Benji,
I just thought it would be nice for me to share this with you. In July 2012 I gave birth to identical twin boys but while we were still in hospital one of my boys became critically unwell. He had necrotising entrocolitis which resulted in his bowel rupturing when he was 6 days old. He had sepsis & septic shock and was well & truly fighting for his life. He suffered problems with his heart which made his heart beat extremely fast at times so his heart rate was always a huge concern. When he was in intensive care I wanted him to hear my voice as much as possible and so I brought in your wonderful books which belonged to my older children. I loved reading the I love you book, "Before you Sleep," to him, I'd read it over & over and one evening the intensive care nurse said to me that it was amazing, his heart rate had come right down as I read to him. Because of this I know he was hearing me. As a result of his illness he lost his hearing and is now awaiting cochlear implant. What I really wanted you to know is that those stories are amongst the last words Noah heard & I can't imagine any nicer story so full of love to have told him, so thank you so much for writing it. We are all looking forward to the next book :-)
Under the government backed www.Jobbridge.ie
internship scheme. This is a great opportunity to work in a very successful publishing
business that has 7 number 1 best selling and award winning children’s books.
Currently expanding into the UK with Distribution of all titles through
WHSmiths the UK’s biggest book retailer and other major distributors this is an
opportunity like no other. To develop an already successful online marketing
strategy this position will initially be a 6-9 month work experience internship
with the potential for a full time position. Candidates will be given full
autonomy responsibility and exposure on the frontline of marketing and PR in
the Publishing industry and will also benefit from one to one mentoring with
Author and businessman Benji Bennett BA B.Sc MBS.
Core skills to include some of
the following...
The
candidate must be positively charged thinker who is highly motivated and
passionate and have a desire to prove that nothing is impossible once you are
focused and positive. The
candidate must be an energetic and happy individual of strong character and
integrity who is respectful to others. The
candidate must be a good communicator, be able to work on their own initiative
and get things done.
Must have
completed or currently studying 3rd level qualification in PR, Marketing
or other Relevant Qualification preferably with internet Marketing focus. Must be
highly proficient and experienced user of Online Social networking sites
including Face book, YouTube, Twitter and other information sharing internet
sites such as Boards.ie etc Familiar
with how to Edit and share Video and images content on the net
Key Role
Work closely with the business owner to develop and implement online PR
and marketing strategy focusing on Ireland, UK and USA other markets
Responsibilities to include
Optimise
social networking sites and develop contact strategy globally. Manage online
operations including competitions and online contact strategy.
Develop
and implement Online Advertising strategy and identify and target optimum
websites to engage with for promotion and advertising Globally Grow
existing contact Databaseby extracting
email addresses of customer that engage with the business Conduct
analysis of website traffic and correlate with sales to develop further
insights.
Develop
online competitions to derive sales and customer contact details Develop
viral email campaigns to market author events, updates and books signings Assist in
the management of Blog content and distribution.